December 2011
1 tag
Massive breakfast sandwich, naked juice mango...
Breakfast of champions.
3 tags
When some of these cardinals and bishops have experienced their first...
– George Carlin (via monkeyknifefight)
2 tags
3 tags
Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have...
– Clark W. Griswold is the 99%. (via coketalk)
4 tags
3 tags
2 tags
2 tags
2 tags
3 tags
family member: so what are your plans
me: sleep and eat
family member: i meant for tomorr-
me: sleep and eat
family member: and for the futu-
me: sleep
family member: when you grow u-
me: eat
4 tags
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
3 tags
4 tags
imperialbedrooms:
Last Christmas, all my dad gave me was a Pizza Hut gift card.
And then he went to jail.
Karma.
dude i love pizza hut
2 tags
My manager told me today, "You surprised me with...
While I certainly do appreciate that, I just wanted to be like, “You call it integrity, I just call it ‘giving a shit.’”
… and frankly, I don’t understand why doing the bare minimum of giving a shit is exceptional, or commendable in any way.
2 tags
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
Parks and Rec's dedication to genuine, unabashed...
Sarcasm and “irony” might be what’s hot in pop culture at the moment, but Parks’ optimism just gives it so much more heart than anything else on TV.
3 tags
4 tags
4 tags
Holy shit, American Horror Story just took it to...
Touche, Ryan Murphy. Touche.
3 tags
2 tags
1 tag
The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am...
– Charlotte Brontë (via expl0si0nsinthesky)
2 tags
1 tag
4 tags
Making banana pancakes is ridiculously cheap and...
3 tags
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
That awkward moment when you think to yourself,...
2 tags
I just want to write one truly perfect sentence.
Is that so much to ask?
3 tags
3 tags
I love it when you give me head, I hate it when...
1 tag
2 tags
4 tags